23 Things I’ve Learnt in 23 Years

Last Saturday (April 30) I hit 23.

To celebrate, I decided to see if I could come up with twenty-three things I’ve learnt over this time and display them in a bite-sized format.

Some are about travel, some are about business. Others are about education, failure, motivation and family.

Ultimately, they’re all about life. Enjoy.

1. Possessions are Meaningless

Look around your house.

How many of the items you see do you actually use? How many do you use on a regular basis. How many do you use on a regular basis but don’t actually need to fulfil it’s defined role?

Possessions are clutter. I’ve written a few times about reducing clutter in your life, house and travel-on bag.

You don’t need 20 pairs of shoes, 100′s of CDs and DVDs, 1000′s of physical books. We live in an age whereby physical versions of some of our most treasured possessions are no longer necessary.

Don’t fight it. Grab a pen and paper and write down everything you can see right now that adds no value to your life – things you can’t see yourself using again, reading again, or listening to again. Get rid of them.

2. Everything Relates to Everything

Every situation you ever come across can be related to a different scenario.

Whether it’s a style of business being performed in a different industry to your own, or the way in which squirrels bury food for the winter, everything relates to everything.

Recognising how one thing can be applied to something else is how great ideas are formed.

3. Travel is Cheaper than You Think

So many people I talk to don’t realise just how inexpensive it is to travel.

Often, if you’re not paying too many bills back at home (you move your few possessions in with a friend or relative, and only have a few ongoing bills to see to) it’s cheaper to travel the world for a year than it is to live in your home country – especially if you live in some of the worlds most expensive cities, namely Oslo, Stockholm, London, New York, Los Angeles and more.

4. Learning a Language is Not as Hard as You Think

Many people, especially those living in English-speaking countries, go through life thinking they’re just “no good” at speaking other languages.

They’re no good, because they don’t try. Often their only exposure to language learning will have been at school some 10-20 years previous.

Languages are not taught well in institutions. I’m not advocating you go out there and spend huge sums of cash on Rosetta Stone or some other overpriced systems. What I will say is as long as you have a passion for learning your chosen language and you are willing to put in the work, amazing things will happen.

5. The First Step Towards Making Money is Not Spending it

The first time I reduced my possessions in a big way I sold most of my CDs and DVDs online through bulk-buy websites. They give you a very small price for your items in return for the convenience of being able to get rid of them all in one go.

It struck me, while I was packing up all my stuff, that these items would have cost be hundreds and hundreds of pounds over the years, and most of which I had barely touched since I bought them.

I made a commitment at this time to no longer buy something unless I could see it’s value lasting for a long time to come.

6. Time is the Only Real Currency

Everything falls into insignificance without time.  Time is one of the only things in the world you can’t buy.

Once a moment in time has passed, it is gone for good. Spend your time wisely.

7. We Adapt to All Things, Good and Bad, Incredibly Quickly

We, as human beings, adapt to changes in our surroundings very quickly.

Something that seems a huge deal one day will be a drop in the ocean in terms of significance the next. Don’t worry about or over-analyze anything. It’s all-change in the morning.

8. Happiness is Contagious

Making another person smile is one of the best feelings in the world.

People want to be around happy, smiley people. If you’re negative all the time you’re never going to make many friends or see many opportunities come your way.

Being a happy, kind person is one of the best tips for life I can give. You’ll be more attractive, personally and sexually, and you will feel great.

9. Nobody Knows What They’re Doing

One of the first things I realised after leaving university and falling into line with a job in the real world is that ‘adults’ are just as clueless as children about what the world’s about and what we should do within it.

I remember walking to work one day thinking “Why did nobody tell us it was this hard?”

Growing up and living your life as an adult is hard. But don’t worry. Nobody else knows what they’re doing either… and that’s okay.

10. Small Steps Produce Big Results

As a rule, people overestimate how much they can achieve in a single day and underestimate how much they can achieve in a longer period of time.

To achieve big goals, break them down into smaller more manageable chunks.

Success breeds success. As you start to complete more of the tasks needed to take you to your ultimate goal you will grow in confidence. Over time your field of confidence will expand. In a years time, you won’t recognise yourself.

11. Everybody Feels Insecure Sometimes

Whenever you feel insecure or doubt yourself, you’ll do well to remember we’re all human.

Despite how confident everybody else around you looks, they’re probably just as insecure as you. Hell, they’re probably looking at you thinking how confident you look!

12. People are Different to You

It took me a while to realise this, but not everybody wants the same thing.

I’m very ambitious. For years i would struggle to understand why everybody around me wasn’t ambitious too. I would question people’s decisions based on my view of the world, not theirs. This is ultimately what causes many of the problems in the world. People wanting different things.

Accept that people aren’t all the same, and move on.

13. You Can Feel When an Opportunity Isn’t Right

I discovered this last year when, upon quitting my last full-time job so I could spend more time working on creating an online business, I was offered a new full time job, on a slightly higher per-hour rate to the job I’d just quit.

I thought about the offer all afternoon, but I needn’t had. As soon as the job was put forward I felt an emptiness in the depth of my stomach that was telling me the opportunity wasn’t right for me.

My body was physically rejecting the idea for me. I felt it. I’m very happy with the decision I made.

14. Your Day to Day Energy is Directly Related to the Food You Eat and the Exercise You Do

How much energy you have throughout the day is related directly to the food you eat (or lack of it) and the exercise you do (or lack of it).

The number one tip i can give you to improve your energy levels throughout the day is to eat healthier and exercise more.

15. You Shouldn’t Get Caught up in the Destination and Ignore the Journey

I have struggled with this one from time to time.

Because I make goals for myself, I make missions and targets, it’s sometimes hard not to get lost in the idea of the destination and not enjoy my current life , the journey, in the present.

When the destination finally comes about, you will probably have a new view of the world and a new destination in mind. Don’t ignore the journey.

16. Rising Above Fear Feels Amazing

Doing something you’re scared of feels amazing.

Whether it’s something physical, such as a sky dive or mountain climb, or something emotional such as going up to somebody in a bar and saying “Hi” you will feel on top of the world afterwards.

I’d equate the feeling beforehand to stepping out of a plane without a parachute. As soon as you step over the edge you feel like you’re flying.

17. Some People are Miserable and Negative

Don’t waste your time around negative people.

Misery loves company. They want nothing more than to bring you down to their level. Don’t let them. The world’s a bloody wonderful place. It’s their loss.

18. Failure Spurs You On

You learn more from your failures than your successes. With each failure you learn something new. Samuel Beckett wrote:

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

19. Apologising Makes You Feel Great

Learning to apologise for your mistakes is possibly one of the most ‘adult’ things I have learnt to do in twenty-three years.

Say sorry, and mean it. Don’t let any bad feelings linger in the air. A simple apology diffuses even the most tense of situations.

20. Your Family are Your Safe Place

Your family, whether you live with them, see them often, of hardly see them at all, are your safe place.

When everything goes wrong, when everything crashes in on itself, your family will be always there for you. They’ll love you unconditionally and do all they can to support and help you. Don’t take them for granted.

21. You Should Ask Questions

I’ve always liked the Chinese proverb:

“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever”

If you don’t know the answer to something, ask somebody who does. They will appreciate being asked just as much as you appreciate their answer.

22. It Pays to Feel Gratitude

Gratitude isn’t some obscure ‘up-in-the-air’ notion.

In communities across the world it is taken incredibly seriously, sometimes as part of a religious practice.

Gratitude keeps you grounded, sane, and generally makes you a nicer person to be around. If you can appreciate the little things while striving towards your own big goals, you’ve got it made.

23. People Can’t be Motivated

Sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses and move on.

Just because you’re the most motivated person in the world, doesn’t mean your friends want to be. We can only be motivated to do something if we actually want to do it, not if somebody else is forcing the ‘want’ onto us.

Lead by example, not by force.

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